Yelling Isn’t Discipline


It never ceases to amaze me how many parents think that discipline is the equivalent of yelling when there are all sorts of other, better ways to discipline your children.

I find that while raising your voice sometimes has its place, it’s amazing how much more effective it is to use a calm and collected stern teaching.

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I see mothers in the grocery time, fathers on the sports field, and parents in all sorts of different places who are yelling and yelling and yelling. Raising your voice doesn’t mean anything if you’re yelling all the time. If that’s the only way you’re discipling your children, in my experience it’s not going to get through. They’re just going to think you’re a mean, grumpy old person.

What I find to work successfully is to kneel down, look the child in the eye, talk to them, and explain why what they’re doing is wrong. You can be stern. You can make it very clear that you’re not joking around. If you do it in a calm and collected way, by looking the child in the eye, and by respecting the dignity of that child while teaching them, it works so much better than yelling.

Children like attention. They like your focus. Yelling communicates that you’re not willing to take the time to get down on their level and explain what’s wrong.

Sometimes, I find myself yelling upstairs to the kids, asking them to come down or clean this or do that. What works so much better is if I take the time to go up the stairs, go into their room, talk to them, and ask them to do it. When I do, they get on it right away. When I yell from downstairs, I’ll be yelling again in the next 15 minutes.

[reminder]What discipline tips do you have to share? I’m sure I’m not the only one who would love to hear them![/reminder]

One Comment Add yours

  1. David says:

    Thanks! good advice.

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